Saturday, March 31, 2007

In silence and solitude.....


In silence and solitude.....

Never had I dreamt
one day
the sea will dry up..
the moonlight will vanish..
the breeze will burn..
the roses will whither..
and
you will leave me.....
in silence and solitude.
Today
it happened
and
I feel you
deep in my aching heart.
I never gave you anything so far
but please take my
tear drops
that are
warm and moist...

ceejay



Wednesday, March 28, 2007

KOLAM - THE FLOOR DESIGN

Translation of my story published in Vikatan and won the First Prize of Tamilnadu Govt short story award . Translated by the author himself. This is my first translation effort and I will be too happy to receive your assistance for future translations.

Ceejay


KOLAM



Allahu Akbar ……

The muezzin's call for the morning prayer from the Nawab masjid gently wafted across the early dawn in mellifluous waves and subsided slowly in descending decibels.

Jabbar Bhai reached up for his embroidered skull cap hanging on the wall nail and adjusted it on his head as he came out, and proceeded towards the mosque. It was not day break yet.

Due to the previous day's rain, the street lights were off and the red sandy road lay engulfed in darkness.

While putting on his slippers and opening the front gate he saw someone standing behind the steel grills.

'Is it Shanthi ? "

"What happened Shanthi ? ….so early in the morning..? "

"Nothing uncle….. I just want to see Farzana. "

"She is inside praying namaz. Please go in…. I will go to masjid and come back soon.."

There were many rainwater puddles all over the street and to prevent his Chank brand check design lungie from getting wet, he lifted it up slightly over his ankles and walked. He felt pain in his knees.
"..I should see Dr Chidambaram today at any cost. Once Ramzan fast begins tomorrow, how will I kneel down for Taraweeh namaz twenty times…."

On his way to the mosque Jabbar Bhai walked past the street corner and was greeted by Shanthi's mother who was affectionately known as as "Mami " in the neighborhood. As muslims are called "bhai' meaning ' brother ' it is customary in Tamil households to address Brahmin ladies as 'mami' meaning " aunty '.

" Namaskaram bhai… "

" Vanakkam mami… "

On the cemented floor entrance of her new house , Mami who was sprinkling water mixed with cow dung to draw the traditional floral rangoli design ( Kolam ), slightly leaned up loosening her tucked up sari tip as a mark of respect to the elderly Jabbar Bhai

The tin box with kolam powder lay open at the corner. Today is the first day of Markazhi month when the doorsteps are to be adorned with variety of colourful kolams embedded with yellow and red flowers everyday.

"… Bhai ..My daughter Shanthi .ran to your house to see Farzana…Did you see her when you came out ? .. "

'Yes I saw her….. She went in to see my grand daughter..Don't worry mami.. She
will be back soon…"

The two girls were friends and studied together in the same school. During examination times, both used to sit together for combined study.

When Jabber Bhai entered the mosque, others were already standing in a row for the start of the namaz.

After completing the prayers, the imam of the masjid , Haji Jainulabuddin caught hold of him.

" Jabbar Bhai..please wait. Once the crescent is visible today the Ramzan fast will start tomorrow. Isn't it? Arrangements are to be made to prepare the Kanji (porridge) for those who will be fasting. The donation we have collected this time for the kanji preparation is encouraging. We have invited this time also our Rangoon mappillai to cook the kanji at the masjid. Bhai, As usual .you have to supervise the arrangements this time also…. "

Once the Ramzan month begins, the mosque will buzz with activities. Since it is customary to begin the fast only after sighting the crescent, scanning the sky for the crescent itself has become a great expectation every year and it certainly is not easy to sight the crescent on its first day with the naked eye. The Ramzan crescent appears as a silver streak at the horizon and disappears after a few seconds. The government appointed town Qazi can announce the commencement of the fast only after getting the confirmation about the manual sighting with minimum two witnesses. If the sky is overcast with clouds then telephone calls to the qazi of Port Novo or Lalpettai have to be made to ascertain the moon sighting. Likewise last year the crescent was seen at Chennai but at Chidambaram, the temple town which is just 250 KM away, it was not sighted at all and hence the fasting was delayed by a day.

Jabbar Bhai was returning home after finalizing the fasting arrangements at the mosque. The day dawned slowly as if shaking off its laziness…the weather was still chill and wet..




The Thiruvembavai recitals (Tamil hymns) began to resonate the air from the western kopuram of Lord Nataraja temple. Men with ashes on their forehead and, freshly bathed women with their flower baskets were walking towards the famous temple for the morning dharshan of their lord.

Turning the street corner Jabbar Bhai saw Farzana with Shanthi and was shocked to see her there.

What was his granddaughter doing along with Shanthi at this morning hours?

Farzana took the kolam powder in her hands and circled the dots nimbly and joined the top and bottom rows elegantly to form a beautiful floral design. When she completed Shanthi shifted her head scarf and kissed her forehead.

" Faru, your kolam is lovely.. Where did you learn to draw our kolam so beautifully?

Before Farzana could answer, both the girls heard the sound of Jabbar bhai's footwear close by and looked up to see the uncontrolled anger in his eyes
.
"Farzana….Come home ..."
His whole body was trembling in a rage.
"Uncle. it was I who compelled her to draw the kolam. She refused to come at first.. but.."
He stared at Shanthi who came to Farzana's rescue. Grabbing Farzana's hands he walked swiftly. She was baffled not knowing the real cause for the outburst of her grandfather.

What a disgrace ' If anyone had seen his granddaughter drawing kolam at the entrance of a Brahmin household, how would he face the muslim jamath as a secretary?
He was not able to contain his anger anymore.

As soon as he entered the house he swung out his hand and slapped on her face.

" Amma……"

Unable to stand the unexpected blow from her loving nana, Farzana slumped to the floor and groaned with pain inside her cheekbones.

".Farzana..I raised you with so much affection and care because you are a motherless child. Is this the way you repay your gratitude? I should have confined you to the house and taught only the Holy Koran. It is my mistake of sending you to the school. My intention was to give you a decent living after my death. How will you take care once I go away? But you have developed so much courage as to draw a kolam in front of their house …"

Exhausted with his outbursts he too slumped down into the easy chair feeling a sharp pain in the chest.

Ya Allah…… Ya Allah…

While his lips recited Allah's name the beads in his tasbeeh kept rolling between his fingers.
The counting of the beads had its impact in slowly melting away his fury like the foam of the boiling milk subsiding when the fire was out; his fury was also slowly melted.

How could I have beaten this parentless child..If only Fatima alive today how upset she would have been to see her darling crying in pain.

His eyes became moist when the memory of his daughter and son in law flashed back.. Both perished in the Mina tent fire tragedy while performing Hajj three years ago, leaving their only child under his care.
Today what have I done to this innocent child?

"Nana.. (grandpa ..)

Farzana came close to him and kept her face on his lap.

Wiping his own moist eyelids he lifted his head.

"Nana. did you slap me because I drew the kolam ? Is it wrong to draw a kolam Nana ? "

The innocent query from his granddaughter touched his soul.
He lifted her from his lap and embraced. The imprint of his fingers blazed red on her cheek.

" Faru.. Muslims do not draw kolams .. "

"Nana. Mummy told me not to draw only living figures or statues… This is only a kolam drawn with dots without any figures. I have seen these designs on the roofs of our mosques.. "

Jabbar Bhai was bewildered. There was justification in her argument.

Nana . is not the kolam a just beautiful geometry ?

" Faru..yes that is correct. it is only a geometry. Drawing a kolam design is not wrong but ,are we not to distinguish ourselves from non muslims ? Or else how could one identify those believers and non-believers? "

"Ok Nana, I will never draw it again in future. Please forgive me this time. "

Though she hugged her grandpa tightly Farzana still did not understand why we should distinguish ourselves from them? Why religion to be identified with symbols, marks, décor and dress?





"Nana. see who has come.."

Jabbar Bhai recognized a wave of excitement in his grand daughter's voice. During these twenty years she has grown more mature and affectionate.

"Who is that Faru ?.. "

" Vanakkam uncle.. I am Shanthi. "

" Shanthi…. Oh..mami's daughter…you have grown so well and I cant recognize you in a sari. Are Amma and Appa doing well at Chidambaram? "

"Uncle it is more than ten years since we left that town and came to this city.. Daddy retired from the University. My husband got a job in Saudi and I am also staying there with him at Jeddah. Now it is school vacation there. I was pleasantly surprised when I met Farzana in the supermarket. .. Uncle, when she told me about your paralytic attack I was very much grieved.. "

"Everything is Allah's will, Shanthi.. Initially it started with knee pain but my life is ending ultimately crippled on this cot. Did you tell me you are in Saudi? Oh..it is a holy land. Makkah and Madinah are dear to our hearts and I visited Jeddah after performing my Hajj… Farzana's husband lives in Dubai but she doesn't want to leave me alone and go and live with her husband. Please impress upon her to join her husband.. "

Hardly had he stopped talking when Sulaiman, the ten year old son of Kadher Saheb of the next street came running inside.

" Farzana Akka ..There is a riot near the mosque. Police have resorted to lathi charge. A few people are targeting our houses, entering and attacking us with knives and sickles. They are now coming to this street.. Amma told me to take nana and flee somewhere far away….. "

The boy ran out holding his slipping trousers.

All of them were shocked and a sense of fear chilled their veins.

Another communal frenzy?

God.. When will this thirst for blood swallowing the human love and dignity ever be quenched?

"Nana.. come nana.. Shanthi, will you give me a helping hand"

Both of them tried to lift the elderly man but could not succeed.

" Farzana, take Shanthi along with you . Close the door and quickly run away. They will murder you. I will manage.. don't worry……"

"No nana.. I will not leave you alone … Shanthi.. you go home I will take care nana"

Shanthi who was shocked at the developments, thought a while and rushed to the kitchen.

" Farzana. .come here.. Please give me a little rice flour and chili powder.. Don’t stare at me like this.. quick.. hurry give me…"

Farzana was confused but gave the rice flour and chili powder.

Opening the door, Shanthi sprang out and in front of the muslim's house she started placing the rice flour dots nimbly. She drew a kolam weaving it in between with red chili powder and making it appealing.

Round the street corner, a rioting mob of fanatics came charging and screaming.

'Don’t spare those______ Kill them.. "

Quickly Shanthi shut the door and latched the window securely.

Both the women began to pray fervently to their own God. Their heart beats raced as the angry noises began to be closer to the wooden door.

Will the kolam save us ?

It was only a risk. a gamble… before the madness and religious fanaticism, will the human love and harmony stand any chance?

Jabbar Bhai closed his eyes and moaned within himself

'Yeah Allah ' make our deaths respectable, we plead! "

Aggressive footsteps pounded the street and halted before their door steps.

"What is this? Is this the house of a Muslim? .. No, it does not look like a Muslim's house...See there is a kolam drawn… May be the old bai shifted somewhere else,,, this is our our community house . Come on men… let us not waste our time, let us go to the next street. There are two houses there…"

The sound of the footsteps slowly faded!

Farzana embraced Shanthi in a tight clasp and both wept in silence.


________________________

RETURN OF NRI

NRI நாளை...


கண்ணிமைக் காட்சிகளில்
கனவுகளும் கற்பனையும்
கவிதைத்துள்ளலாகி
இங்கு வந்த நாட்கள்..

புலம் பெயர்ந்தாவது
பொருளீட்டும் பொறுப்புக்களோடு
பாலைவனச் சுடுமணல்
தொட்ட நாட்கள்..

தங்கையின் மணமென்றும்
தாய்க்குத் தந்தைக்கு வீடென்றும்
தவிப்புகளின் தாலாட்டில்
தாய்நாடு பிரிந்த நாட்கள்..

புலர்கின்ற பொழுதெல்லாம்
மலர்கின்ற அன்னையின் முகம் மறைந்து
அவள் நிழற்படம் மட்டுமே தலைமாட்டில்
நிஜமாகிப்போன அந்த நாட்கள்..

கொஞ்சுமொழிக் கிளுகிளுப்பில்
நெஞ்சமெல்லாம் நிறைந்தவளை
கெஞ்சுகின்ற கண்ணீரில் தவிக்க வைத்து
பஞ்சாகி இங்கு பறந்து வந்த அந்த நாட்கள்..

தத்தித் தவழ்ந்து வந்து முகமெல்லாம்
முத்தமிட்ட மழலைச் செல்வங்களை
பத்திரமாகப் பார்த்துக்க்கொள்ளென
சத்தமில்லாமல் சவுதி வந்த அந்த நாட்கள்..

இன்றோ..

காலம் இழுத்து வந்த
கப்பல் கரையைத் தொட்டுவிட
நாளைய விடியல் நோக்கி
நம் பயணம் தொடர்கிறது.

புதிய சமூகத்தின் தாக்கங்கள்..ஏக்கங்கள்
எதிர்பார்ப்புக்கள்..ஏமாற்றங்களில்
நாம் சேர்த்தவை
செல்வமும் செழிப்பும் என்றால்
தொலைத்தவையோ
இளமையும்.. உறவுகளும்..


எரிந்து போன தியாகத்தின் வெந்தணலில்
விரிந்திருக்கிறது நாளையென்னும் விடிவெள்ளி


தங்கையோ மணம் முடித்து
தாயுமாகிவிட்டாள்
தாயோ மனம் நிறைந்து
தன் வீட்டில் மகிழ்ந்து போனாள்

காலைச் சுற்றி வந்த
கண்மணிக் குழந்தைகளோ
கலிபோர்னியாவின் கணிப்பொறி மையத்திலும்
கடலூர் கந்தசாமிக் கல்லூரியிலும்

தாயகத்தின் மண்ணிலே
தடம் பதிக்கும் இனிமை

சுதந்திரத்திருநாட்டில்
சுவாசிக்கும் முழுமை

பிரிந்துபோன உறவுகள்
இணைந்து போகும் நிறைமை

முடிந்துபோன கனவுகள்
துளிரப் போகும் பசுமை

எழுச்சி பெற்ற இந்தியாவின்
எதிர்காலக் கனவுகளில்
எங்களுக்கும் பங்கில்லையா
இதோ வருகிறோம்
எங்கள் தாய்த்திருநாடே...

வணக்கம்